One Bright Pearl

When I began this blog I was living on the streets of Denver. Soon I had expanded my field of action to include the whole country, living out of my car, camping under the stars, I traveled coast to coast. A lot of time was spent in the rural southeastern United States, in southern Appalachia and the Smoky Mountains, eastward to Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Over this past summer(2009) I roamed the Rocky Mountains of Montana, Idaho and Wyoming… even went as far south as Santa Fe, New Mexico, but for the most part, I fell in love with the Snake River Valley in Jackson Hole. The Grand Tetons whispered their stories to me.

Every month I returned to Bloomington, Indiana, home of Sanshinji, for sesshin or retreat, to sit and practice for six  to ten days with my teacher Shohaku Okumura Roshi. Since September I have been living at the Sanshin Zen Community Dormitory where I have accepted the position of care taker. For now, I will be calling Sanshinji home and have stopped wandering on such a large field. I am sewing an Okesa, and will ordain as a disciple of Okumura Roshi when I complete it. I still live simply and have dedicated my life to the Dharma as expounded by the old Buddha Eihei.

As for experience, I have been investigating Mind since about seven years old, maybe earlier, much earlier. My personal koan has always been “Who is thinking I am? ” since the beginning as a young boy. Later I studied Carl G. Jung’s Collected Works for a period of five years until I reached a dead end. This dead end led me to Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. I began “just sitting” that very first day. I have practiced Zen for almost twenty years, with my first Master investigating koan for ten years, followed by a an extreme dark night of the soul. This period lasted about five years in which I tried not to practice, but practice would not release me from my vows. I have now been studying with a disciple of Dogen Zenji, as related above for the past two years. I am forty nine years old.

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This blog documents my experience of living homeless, simply, frugally, while pursuing the Way as taught by Eihei Dogen Zenji. To this end, I question, is it possible to realize the Way of the ancient sages here in America today or are we fooling ourselves with a kind of hobby Zen made to fit the needs of the self, accustomed to lifestyles that exceed basic needs? Dogen reminds us over and over again throughout his writings that all one needs is the Kasaya, a robe and a bowl.  The rest will be taken care of.

My aspiration is aroused by the following passage from the Shobogenzo Zuimonki -

Dogen instructed,

Students of the Way, do not worry about food and clothing. Just maintain the Buddha’s precepts and do not engage in worldly affairs. The Buddha said to use abandoned rags for clothing and beg for food. In what age will these two things ever be exhausted? Do not forget the swiftness of impermanence nor be disturbed vainly by worldly affairs. As long as your dewdrop human life lasts, think exclusively of the Buddha-Way and do not be concerned with other things. - Shobogenzo Zuimonki Chapter 1- 16

I can’t help but repeat Old Buddha Eihei’s question -

In what age will these two things ever be exhausted?

Are we living in the age that abandoned rags and begging for food are no longer available? Or have we chosen the easier, softer Way? Is it fear that keeps this style of practice from manifesting in America today… or simply that we have available ready excuses that conform to the expectations of secular society, thereby enabling us to wrap ourselves in a psychological cocoon of soothing assurances that this is the way it has to be?

Is this story true?

Whose story is it?

Who is soothed by the story?

Who thought the thinker?

Who?

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