One Bright Pearl

the white ox refuses to leave
suddenly - Bong!
dinner bell ringing
.

Rohatsu Sesshin is upon us here at Sanshinji. We will begin by having dinner together at 6:00pm and then meet again at 7:30pm for Okumura Roshi’s orientation talk. When he finishes sharing his words of encouragement, we will turn and face the wall, as the Buddha did all those years ago.
We sit a classic Uchiyama [...]

My teacher, Shohaku Okumura-roshi, gave me the name Kozan when I received Jukai earlier this month. He said that this “Ko” was the same kanji as in Sawaki Roshi’s Dharma name, Kodo. The meaning of this ko, is - raise up, support. The other kanji, “zan”, stands for mountain. So Kozan means to hold up [...]

Here is the Truth - at this moment I do not know what I am doing with my life. Sure, I can say, “Well, you’re typing a blog post concerning what you know.” Or, I could say, “You have been studying and practicing Dogen Zen with a living Master, Shohaku Okumura Roshi.” Or, I could [...]

From a travellers perspective, new directions are all I see.
It has been awhile since I posted here. Everything keeps changin’. Slowing me down, speeding time up. Discombobulated, maybe. Yet, it is a good day today.
I woke up at home… yes, at home. Not living on the road, at least for now. Kris and I moved [...]

not arriving, here and now
a crossroad
here and now, no direction found
this no direction is only a crossroad

in just this no direction
gaining is lost
a Way is found
as a crossroad, here and now

never arriving, never departing
is only a crossroad’s no direction
is only a Way’s pulling and turning of an old monk
is only this old monk returning home

There are times when I find that I am taken over by what Eckhart Tolle refers to as the ‘Pain Body’. It is during the onset, or attack, of deeply seated emotional pain that I am most vulnerable to slipping into unawareness. These memories, dormant energies trapped beneath my self concious, in the body proper, [...]

After years of practice something finally gave way. A shift occured that seemed impossible before, and in fact, extremely simple. It was as if a switch had been found, and yet had been there all along. Just waiting to be noticed by itself. Thinking dissolves instantly, and just this abides.
In the past couple of months [...]

It seems that the very attempt to integrate or understand my experience of Spaciousness is resistance to allowing the space to be.
Non-gaining can not accommodate integration.
Gain is loss. Loss is “Loss”. Loss is the Way.
I am Not.
Not. Not. Not.

Something is happening here. It feels as if a new opening is taking over my life. I cannot see the future and the past isn’t important. The process of moment to moment exploration of this life as it manifests as a singular field of action is creating some kind of change I cannot put into [...]